where to begin?

I feel like I’m creeping back to this blog a different person, so I’m not 100% sure where I should start. These eight months…oh my goodness, I could have never been prepared. I have been buried in a pit of depression and then happier than I’ve been in years. I have been excited about changes and then terrified of the unexpected. I have felt hopeful and then I have felt let down. And I can count on one hand the moments I felt complete peace.

It has been.. A whirlwind.

Monday morning I woke up in our (still unpacked) bedroom, fed the dogs, made breakfast, and then sat down at our kitchen table and cried. A good cry. (Granted, some/most of that may have been hormone induced.) Things are starting to feel somewhat normal around here and I am so grateful for it I could burst at the seams. Nothing has been normal this year. As someone who cowers at the thought of change, I am so fucking proud of myself. I will get through this year and look back and know I never quit and I never lost control. I made tough decisions and I saw them through. I learned the value of family. I let go of a lot of things I hated about myself and I finally let myself grow.

ak_maternity

We are approximately 8 weeks (or less) away from meeting our Cordelia and while we are still struggling to get everything in order, I’m finally starting to feel a little more ready.

I miss blogging. I really do. It’s become such a big part of who I am, even if that sounds super lame. But I’m thankful for the break. I don’t see myself setting a blog schedule again any time soon, but I know I want to take photos and share more. So I’m going to make an honest effort to try to do so.

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5 Responses to “where to begin?”
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  1. meira

    stunning photo and best luck with the changes ahead!

  2. Glad to see you back – even if only for a moment.
    I have missed you, but thankful you are toughing it out & moving forward each moment.
    Stay strong!

  3. You got this Amanda!
    It’s so cool that you are sharing the highs and lows, and I can’t wait to see the next posts, with all the new changes that will happen once Cordelia’s here :3

    xoxo

  4. I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about but I can sympathize that a pregnancy whirlwind of emotions (and hormones ha). Beautiful picture.

  5. Just stumbled upon your blog whilst looking for some cool photography blogs to follow. Got to say I love your blog, all the best with the pregnancy, you’ve got my follow :)

 

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